I'm still on vacation folks. I'll be back to blogsville on the 10th, after my b'day, but i just had to share what has been going on with me. Special thanks to the love Dr. and my blog sista ( u know urselves) for hearing me out. OF and i have been speaking, infact we spoke last nite into the wee hours of the morning. Yours truly didn't sleep until 3 a.m. To cut the long story short, this boy yarned to the extent that my head was expanding and if not for Almighty God my head go don burst.
I thank God for everything. The feelings are mutual, i didn't know that before. Feelings are fleeting, YES i know that. The long 'n short of my yarns is that OF and i have decided to start a "real friendship" before we begin dating seriously. Truth be told, I most definitely won't start a relationship with someone i can't be friends with or if u will, build a lasting friendship with, 'cos after all's said and done, it's the friendship that keeps one going. Dating for me or being in a relationship (i consider the two synonymous, even though some may disagree), MUST start by moving towards a "real" friendship first. How well do i know this person regardless of the cockroaches in my stomach? The intense feelings are there with OF, YES and i'm not even going to front on that, but I don't want to cater to them to the extent that i'll forgo the friendship stage and step over my physical and emotional boundaries.
This kid was so honest with me and i made him know i appreciated his honesty and all. He spoke for so long that for the first time since i started talking to OF in March, i was speechless. When i finally found my voice, his phone battery was beeping. He's so so considerate that even playing back our conversation last nite brings tears to my eyes. During the friendship stage, we're both going to take things to God and pray that if it's his will, everything should fall into place and things should progress steadily. I'm praying about this and many other things like crazy, 'cos Lord knows i need divine intervention.
The following are what i deduced from conversing with him in the last 4 days. All along, OF has been shy sort of. According to him, he's been feeling me too but didn't want to do anything to jeopardize the family r/ship btwn the 2 families. Also, he didn't want it to seem as though he was reading a lot of meaning to the innocent things i did (remember when i said i was kinda sorta dropping some hints?) only for him to find out the hard way. He also said whatever happens, he wants to do things right 'cos being heart brokem isn't fun. The emotional thingy clearly isn't his forte. It may be a LDR (Long dist. r/ship) for sometime. He brought up so many things and more. According to him, he had seriously been thinking things through.
Lastly, if OF sees this, i'm minced meat 'cos my cover would be blown big tyme. Whatever jo, there's really nothing to hide 'cos i just had to let him in on how i really felt for him. I've written enough. I may be meeting Omodudu today. Will blog soon if anything come up. Thanks a bunch for hearing me rant and rave about OF. U guys are awesome, even though i have no clue who some of u are. Thru the encouraging words and all, i've been able to do things i never would have thot of doing in a million years. For that alone, y'all deserve a squeezy cyber hug each. Can u feel it? Apparently, OF and i were having some reservations to laying bare our fellings for each other, 'cos that's the only explanation for keeping mute for this long while secretly dying inside.
The Procrastinating Perfectionist
5 weeks ago