Friday, July 14, 2006

Train up a child in the way he should go ...

I've been meaning to blog about this for quite sometime now, but never really got to. However, after reading the news article, whose links are posted below, i decided to. I've been living in the States for 3 years now, and from my interactions with parents of African descent who have young kids, i'm surprised at the kind of things their kids do.

Okay, here's the 1st scenario. Helen and her husband are Ghanaians and devout Christians, with 2 boys, ages 3 and 5. The 5 year old has been spoiled rotten. If he wants sumtin' and his mum refuses to give him, he starts whinning and even goes to the extent of giving the lady an attitude. There was this particular day he was misbehaving and his mum, was like "I'll beat u, if u don't stop." She repeated that close to 5 times without doing anything. When she realized he was becoming a nuisance, she gave him a whoop on his backside, more like a harmless tap. To my surprise and disgust, the boy gave his mum a big whoop on her back and she did nothing about it.

2nd scenario: Mrs. Emelike has 5 kids, 2 girls and 3 boys, ages 24, 18, 23, 21, and19 respectively (Don't ask me, i dunno how she managed, getting knocked up year after year, her husband must've been a busy man). Anyway, i've had the opportunity to interact with 3 of her kids. Not pretty. By the way, she's about 44 and she's already a grandmum. Her teenage daughter, who's just a high school senior, is infact the madam of the house. Mrs. E would be in the kitchen, sweating it out, and this silly gal would lock herself up in her room doing God-knows-what. Her mum does all the chores in the house, and they see nothing wrong in not assigning chores to the kids. One day, i voiced out my concerns to her, (i'm like her adopted daughter now o), and her reply was that she gave 'em chores to do, but when they never do their chores, she thought it would be better for her to just do it rather than having hypertension over yelling at them. Rubbish, arrant nonsense! Her teen daughter came back from school, expecting her mum to have cooked. When she relaized there was no cooked food at home, she began yelling at her mum, went to her room and stomped out of the house 5 minutes later. The woman just kept quiet throughout. Later, when the gal left, Mrs. E now faced me and was saying, "If it were to be in my country, i wouldn't have a grown daughter like this, and still be doing all the cooking." I was wondering if she knew all this, why couldn't she train her kids up, like she would if she were to be in Naija. These good-for-nothing-kids yell at their mum, even in the presence of guests. They have no respect at all.

It takes 2 to make kids, right? I'm sure you'd be wondering what about their popsy? Well, the guy works in another city and comes home only on weekends. Of course, when he's at home, they're of partially good behavior. It just pains me, the way they treat their mum like crap. Wetin consine me sef. The woman is very, very nice. A real mother. She sacrificed her education, to hatch these silly kids. She came to yankee with her husband about 2o sumtin' years ago to study. Hubby went to school and he has a Ph. D today, while wifey has nothing, not even an Associates degree. Upon all, these ingrates don't know how to appreciate their mum for her sacrifices through the years. The eldest daughter had a child when she was in her teens, so Mrs. E is raising the boy whilst her daughter continues her education.

3rd scenario: My uncle and aunt in MD. This is a positive one. I'm related to the man, but i must give my aunt PROPS. She has 2 sons, 5 and 3. Those boys are very well trained. They don't even litter the house. They've their play room and once they mess it up, they clean it without their mum telling them too. Their car is always clean, even when the kids eat, they know not to make a mess in the car. They "dobale" (prostrate) to greet their elders. Infact, as far as raising kids in the U.S is concerned, my uncle's wife is my role model. I just read another article on, about a commissioner in Anambra State that was murdered by her son. What is this world turning into? Whenever i say the bible is still the manual for life, whether u're a Christian or not, some folks think i'm crazy. I remember my mum's favorite verses whilst we were growing up, they were mostly in Proverbs. When she's disciplining us, with those back-hand slaps, those kneel down raise up ur hands, those fly ur arms, and u must not bend them type of punishments, she'll be singing into our eardrums, the bible says "Train up ur child ...," "Spare the rod and spoil the child," "Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child..." I hated it then, but now i thank God and thank her for what she did. One thing i always remember her doing, was that after the discipline and punishments, she'd call us and explain to us what we did and why she had to employ such disciplinary measures, and she'd pet us.

Ms. P and her boo want to open a joint account. I know they're both head over heels and all, but i think they should chill. Wait o, does my opinion even count sef? I already told her to think about it very well. Even with my own future hubby, having a joint account will be a dicey issue. I'm not a spendthrift, but i don't want someone breathing down my neck each time i spend money.

My "shadowing" is going on well. The doctors i shadow are so cool. It's a husband 'n wife practice. The wife is a pediatrician, whilst her hubby is a family practice doctor. They're both Nigerians, and have carved a niche for themselves within the community. I don't think i want to get married to a doctor. Dual-doctor marriages are not easy, and it takes a lot of maturity and understanding. That's a topic for another day. My duties include calling in the patients, checking their height and weights, prepping them to see the Dr. and staying in the consultation room, with their consent of course. I've learned a lot.

Please people, live a healthy lifestyle 'cos it pays off in the long run. Diabetes, High blood pressure and obesity are what's killing people these days. I've decided to start educating the people i come in contact with now o. No more fried foods, foods high in corn syrup and sugar for me, and i've decided to start working out at least 3 times a week for a min. of 30 minutes. Not that i'm fat or anything, i weigh about 130 lbs, which is ok for my height. Being fat has nothing to do with it o. Even slim people have these diseases, which are mostly gentically inherited. From both sides of my family, diabetes and high blood pressure are prevalent. I don't drink soda and i hardly ever drink juice that's made from concentrate. A healthy lifestyle pays off in the long run.

This weekend is bound to be so much fun. I've a church picnic tomorrow in NJ, then i'm off to Philly on Sunday to visit a friend who gave birth. Anyways, i need to finish up the chapter i started in my EK Organic Chemistry book.


aihammed delot said...

i just dont see how its possible to raise children up in a foreign counry and still maintain the same amount of respect you'd want them to have. i think alot of the exposure to backchat might come from their peers, but who knows eh?
nice blog

Anonymous said...

Sad stuff about Mrs. Emelike. I'm not sure I can raise children the way I want in the States. I suspect they will arrest me because I will whip them silly if they dare treat me badly.

Mari said...

Starting young is a plus. I see little kids as young as 3yrs old hitting their mums when they get scolded at and it pains me so bad that the mothers dont do anything to correct such behaviours. Makes you wonder what these kids would do when they get older.

bijouxoxo, Im with you on living a healthy lifestyle. I've cut out alot of junk from my diet and am working out as often as I can. Exercising and a good diet does alot. I keep telling people that.