When 2 elephants are doing battle, Bijouxoxo suffers.

Just got back today. Even though i spent a week and 3 days, it felt like i was gone for months. Everytime i go to see my family, it's always one drama or the next. My grandmum has 10 kids, out of which 6 are in the U.S. and 1 is in London. There are 6 girls in the family, which may be the reason why there's always drama. Anyways, my London Aunt (LA) accused me of being selfish 'cos according to her, my grandparents (grans) have been around for almost 4 months and i couldn't come to take care of them. She's forgetting that i'm in school and going to see my grandparents is an hour's drive from me plus i was working in the ER and the doctor's office. Anyways, i let that slide 'cos i knew it wasn't true and trying to explain the situation of things to her, would be like pouring water in a basket. My plan, was to go spend time with my grans for 2 weeks after my job's over.

Anyways, during this time, my 8 year old cousin had a serious asthma attack and she had to be admitted in the hospital for days. My grans, my sister, LA and I were enroute to NJ when we decided to stop by NY to say hello to the folks there. That was when my cousin's thingy started, she was gasping for air and she looked like she was gonna pass out. 'Cos of the new development, my grans decided they were no longer going to NJ and would rather stay till she gets discharged from the hospital. IMHO, i thought that was unnecessary, 'cos they would still be communicating with her via phone which they can as well do from NJ. The trip was aborted sha.

This is the beginning of the yawa (trouble). My aunt A, the kid's mom is very independent. Even though she's married, she does almost everything. About 2 years after they got married, she came to the US with her kids while her hubby was still in Nigeria. Maybe that explains why she shoulders even her hubby's responsibilities. Right from the get go, my mum saw this and warned her that if she continues this way, she wouldn't make her hubby responsible. In fairness to Mr. hubby, he's responsible in his own way, but when his wife decides to do it all, he retreats. Aunt A runs a summer camp. She slept in the hospital throughout her daughter's stay, and needed someone she trusted to oversee the affairs of the summer school especially with her employees. She asked LA to tell me to sleep over at her house so first thing in the morning, i would start with the assigned duties.

That was when all hell broke loose. LA (my Voltron) is known to be very realistic, she'll tell it as it is. She's very strict and doesn't tolerate any nonsense behavior. Aunt A's hubby, thinks she's domineering, oh well... We always hang out together whenever she's around and i think some of her attributes have rubbed off on me. LA asked Aunt A why she couldn't ask her hubby to do the things she wanted me to do that afterall, the business was for both of them and besides, they couldn't be forcing their plans on me without any regard as to what i had to do. Aunt A, tryna cover up for hubby, said hubby was working 4 nights that week and he couldn't call off work 'cos there was nobody to take up his shift. LA went on to say to Aunt A and i quote, "What responsible man goes to work and acts like nothing's up when his daughter's seriously ill." LA even said that if Bijouxoxo wasn't around, won't u look for a way to sort out ur issues. On that note, she said i wasn't going to sleep in Aunt A's house, and they should assume i wasn't around. It was a serious argument o, they even used the dreaded EF word at one point. When i saw the 3 sisters arguing, i then called my aunt O who's the gentle one aside to try to explain things from LA's point of view. This was all i said, "LA thinks that Aunt A should've thought of a back-up plan, in case of an emergency." Aunt O was pissed and went off on me (i have never seen her that angry), she even went as far as telling Aunt A what i said. That added petrol (gas) to the fire. When all i was doing was trying to be a peacemaker by playing with the same words LA used in a subtle manner. Aunt A was like i have no right whatsoever to tell her what to do, as per the back-up plan thingy. Our big mama (the big sis who's very sensitive, every little thing u say or do in her presence gets turned into one offence or the other) started rebuking me that what i said about aunt A to aunt O was waaaaaaay bigger than my mouth. I didn't say a word (which was a surprise to me) while she raved on and on. Can u believe that my not saying anything, even annoyed her further. She said i was trying to prove stubborn. If i talk, it'll cause wahala, even keeping mute is causing yawa, my bros. and sistas, which one do i do now?

This was the same big mama i was talking to last year, we were gisting o and as usual, i was gesticulating. Next thing i knew, she said i pointed my finger at her? Chei! See me see wahala o. She made a big issue out of this, even after i tried convincing her that i was just gesticulating and talking and as such i wasn't even aware of whatever stray movements my fingers made. I apologized and we were cool that day, or so i thot, only for her to start calling my mum in Nigeria to tell her, this story spread like wild fire to all the family members o, and by the time i heard the story again, it had been twisted, massacred and murdered. Since then, i've always been on my guard whenever i'm around her.

There was yawa with her again on this trip. I saw these nice pair of sandals she had and told her they looked nice (not synonymous with saying i like it). She then told me i could've it. Anyways, i thanked her. Those sandals are not even my type of shoes. The unusual shape sef would cause heads to turn in ur direction, plus they were flat shoes. When i was leaving her house, i deliberately left the sandals, 'cos i knew i wasn't going to wear them. She forgot her cell phone and asked me to go get it from her room. On getting there, the sandals were smiling at me again. I then decided to take them with me the 2nd time around 'cos i realized she may think i deliberately left the shoes she gave me and new wahala would brew. When she saw me with the shoes, she asked in the precense of her friends, "Who said u could take those shoes without asking?" I was embarrassed. I jogged her memory to let her know that she said i could've it. She then went on to say how much she bought the shoes for, plus they were Italian shoes with genuine leather soles, plus the fact that she had never worn them before and just bough an outfit to go with them. Then i said, "Mama, i can leave the shoes 'cos i wouldn't wear it in school anyways." Next thing i knew, she said i was rude. Come to think of it, u can't please people. How, where, when was i rude? If i didn't take it, wahala, now again wahala. My aunt A told me to call her to apologize, i'm like for what again? What did i do, i was only telling her my honest opinion that the shoes will be uncomfortable for me to wear all day in school and as such i could leave it if she still wanted to wear it. Omo, me i am tired of all these. I didn't call and i din't take the shoes either, not after the embarrasment.

I'm in everyone's black book now. Now i know when 2 elephants are fighting even if they want to kill themselves, i'll just do "siddon look". I'll be placating them or better still, i won't even say a word. No be me they go put for middle. Now the sister's have settled their differences, they forgot the fact that i was only trying to echo what LA was saying albeit in a subtle manner so peace would reign, now they're pouring and venting all the anger on me. It's all good. Blessed is Bijouxoxo tryna make peace by playing with angry words to make them subtle, for the yawa will gas on her head (trouble will land on her head). Before they see my face in their zones again, they'll beg me. There's so much more to write, but i'll leave it at that for now. School starts tomorrow. I feel like i've been in school forever, but by God's grace, it'll be over soon.

P.S: If my aunts see this post, they'd turn me into minced meat. So pray for me that doesn't happen. I know it may be difficult keeping track of all my aunts, sometimes i do have difficulties keeping track of all of them and their various idiosyncracies, but i've tried to make 'em easy, so bear with me.