Monday, November 27, 2006

... and to think i once thot there were no aristos here, how naive of me?!?!?

I missed u guys for real. I'm so pissed off 'cos i started typing a new entry, got halfway only for me, (don't know what i was thinking) to power off my PC. If not for this hot gist, i for don vex, no update today. NY was tew madd. So much FOOD (yes what's ur beeswax if i decide to capitalize the word) and fun. Had fun all the way. Anyways, my NY trip is gist for another day, there's this hot gist off the press i need to share with u guys.

For my non-Nigerian readers, "aristos" otherwise known as sugardaddies, are found everywhere and sometimes even amongst ur professors/ lecturers. It's so bad 'cos some of them even attempt to fail students who refuse to dance to their tune. Sad, very sad indeed. So imagine how shocked, flabberwhelmed and overgasted (yes o, i was bomabrded by these emotions simultaneously) i was to know we even have aristos in US universities also. My people, YES i know i can be naive sometimes, but someone please download a dirty slap on my face (i see u Vera more than happy to do just that, even u NB and Diamond i can't believe u're joining 'em) for being so naive for even thinking that aristos have boundaries.

Okay NY gist. I met up with my high school buddy i hadn't seen in 6 years. 'Twas fun. She's in DC, but whenever i go there i never get to see her. She still looks the same. Guess what? Upon all my talk about black Friday, we (my sister, her friend, my aunt and I) didn't hit the malls till noon. Of course there was no sale. We were at the Westfield mall, Tanger outlet, Green Acres, all in Long Island. Tanger is a very big outlet as in, i almost got lost. Who am i kidding? I got lost. I only bought a coat at H& M. The coat keeps me so warm and fuzzy.

I've been to NY countless times, yet i still manage to get lost when using the subway or the bus (just 3 times) so i called Kesto, remember him. That guy knows everywhere in NY. Anyways, he told me to meet him up at Tams Squaa (ESPN zone in Times Square) since we were both around that area. Met him and he insisted that he'd take me home. I'm like dude, just tell me what trains to take (me tryna do big gal) u don't have to take me home. I really feel bad, inconveniencing people, and i'm sure he was busy doing stuff when i called. He refused, so we took the train together to God-knows-where, but i know it was on the way home. On the second train ride, since i already knew where i was, i told him he could leave. Of course he insisted but i hopped on before he could blink. I kuku still got lost on the bus ride home, missed my stop. That guy has issues. He's trying too hard to get my attention by posing and all, if only he knew i'm just a simple gal. Anyhoos, he was telling me he needed to do 2000 hrs of internship/ residency before he could get his certification in Accounting, i think that's what he said. He then told me how much he makes now, then how much he'd be making p.a. when his internship is over and how much he hopes to make after getting his certification. When he was done yarning dust, i then asked, "... and ur point is?" He was shocked. Poor guy just started stammering, couldn't answer. I felt bad.

That's all o my people, there's so much ground to cover, but i'll leave it at that for now. Trust my drama-filled family, of course there was drama with my aunts, but that's story for anoda day. As for the owanbe, i ended up not going 'cos i was just too tire Saturday nite after hanging out with my high school buddy, plus the gig was in Queens and was starting 11p.m. till the security guard chases us out. I just decided to crash at home with a hot bowl of eba and correct vegetable soup that had everything in it, even snails, like Nigerian snails, i ate it wasn;t even funny. HA! How can i forget to tell u guys. Guess what i ate Wednesday nite for dinner? SUYA and IJEBU GARRI. My aunts friend just got back from Nigeria the day before, and she brough frozen "University of Suya, Allen campus" suya plus the authentic garri Ijebu. I was having a ball. It was then ChiefO a.k.a. Engineer Ayo decided to call me, trust me to rub it in his face, plus u never know who's beefing u, so i had to dismiss him before i choked on my garri.
ChiefO, it was nice not meeting u while i was around. U're a goofball, couldn't u've strolled over to come and say hello. As for u Omodudu, it was nice not meeting u too, and we all were in Amityville together. Ur amala and efo elemi mejo was so ready, but u didn't show face. U people are so disrespectful. How can i leave my zones, to come to NY hoping to hang out with all of u, just for u to disappoint me? Thank God i had back-up plans. I still had fun without u guys. Till i come again, remain blessed.

23 comments:

DiAmOnD hawk said...

girl...first off...this is nothing new...
i wont dash you slap because even though i knew sugar daddies do exist...i didnt know there was one going on underneath my nose o...yes...sometimes im too naive...actually i think it's more of being into my own business so i tend not to know these until after after...

and guess who figured who YOU are...i'll shoot you an email very soon

zioner said...

i'm first!!!
oh yeah, there are aristos here. Met one sometime ago, i think he's INDIAN!!! An old dude, wasn't really sure if he was after my friend or me. I was hungry that day sha and I had prayed to God to send me food. Guess what I did??? Made him buy us some food and was off on my way, giving thanks to God. What's a girl to do? I can't die of hunger now, I'm wiser!

Funmi said...

Can u email some suya to me :(

Glad you had fun in NY.....advise SL to stay clear of that man, i don't understand some people at times. A nigerian prof at my college was sacked for sexually assualting a student the funny part is that the weirdo had been hitting on me but i played the whole 'u r my dad line'.......thank goodness i left that college.

Naijadude said...

Ok I am first :-)

Yay! you had Suya and my fav. Ijebu garri, pls dont rub it in as yet.. You making me want some right now.
LMAO @ homeboy rubbing his prospective wealth in your face, dont blame him, He wants you falling all hook line and sinker for him! Do that now, or atleast pretend...LOL

Nice post

Vera Ezimora said...

FIRST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

FIRST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

FIRST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

FIRST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Vera Ezimora said...

Now, i dont even know if my comment is firsr cause u have a approve it. Dammit!

Anyways, the best thing about this ur post is that you know I would be more than happy 2 download a slap on ur face. Abeg, where can I do it?

Miguel said...

bijouuuuuuuuuu...where my suya oooo? come to think of it i no sure say i want naija suya ... i hear these days u can't guarantee the source of the beef...lol

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Mari said...

lol, our blogger buddies stood u up. Sorry dear, least you still had fun with out em. I need to hit NY soon just coz of H&M. I love that store.
That african professor is sketchy. Tell your friend to watch her back. Besides the guy had better stop it coz if he's pulling the same stunts with other students, he'll be in for a shocker pretty soon.

Biodun said...

Na u o, seems like u had a blast.
That prof is crazy does he think he is in Africa ni, I know of a naija prof who got in trouble for the same rubbish, think he lost his job actually, God help them sickos. Ah, men I want suya men, now ur making me hungry for some, dang it!

Cherub (former Bijouxoxo) said...

All u people claiming to be the 1st commenters, i'm not giving away prizes o. Diamond beat u guys to it. By the way, i had on the comment moderation. I took it off already so u guys wouldn't fight over who's first.

@Diamond: It's a lie jo, u don't know me. U mean an aristo fada in form of ur prof was after u too? All u sexy ladies Na wa ooo.

@Funmi: I feel u o, funny thing is that this man is old enough to be her popsy. SL knows better but for how long can u stay clear of ur academic advisor? With my aunt and co. of course the suya finished within the blink of an eye.

@zioner: I don't blame u o jere. U chop come clean mouth abi?

@Naijadude: I'm a simple gal o. I tell u, that suya and Ijebu garri did me like romantic movie. I thot i was in dreamland o, but i tell u when the hawks wanted to prey on my suya, i woke up to lalaland.

@Vera: Lemme catch u, rubbish! I now see why SexyB's nickname for u is ode.

@Miguel: Na u sabi o. I can tell u that d one wey i chop na correct cow meat. Long time o, Spicy Miggie.

@Mari: Are u a seer or something. My friend sought my advise on Monday and u know today in our little town's newspaper, the prof made headlines, i'll blog on that in a min. H&M is my store. Don't mind those blog buddies jere, it's their loss.

@Biodun: U nko, u went alone to Paris and London on vacay. Na u o. U forgot to include dear Kokoroewa in ur handbag when u were gallivanting, no be ur fault.

babe said...

HOW FAR NOW....How will professor using tissue to wipe somebodies boobs when she did not gist you that she was armless.....thats jacked up men......suya and ijebu garri is of the chain!

ChiefO said...

bijou if i count half and i still hear my name in ur mouth as one of the people who didnt come to see u in LI ehnn. u will know wat hot water can do to garri. nonsense and maggi! na today u don dey come NY wey my name no show up on top ur radar. now u accuse me (like obasanjo accuse atiku) for not coming over to see u.

talking about university of suya! it is official o. i am beefing you! if that suya wasnt from unversity of suya then maibe just maibe u would have had the chance. but u actually rubbed it in my face triple double times over and kicked me off the fone sharply.

but all well, when next are u coming to NY? let me know ahead so i can seat my ass in one place and come to LI to eat tight. maibe just maibe cheesecake factory might be around the block when hunger kicks in.

ChiefO said...

kokoro-ewa AKA insect-inside! ur friend better dismiss him as her advisor like she would dismiss a bad habit from her system. but na wa for people o. i guess he is being hypnotized by her lolo, cos thats the only defence i could give on his behalf for talking about a different major anytime she comes for advisement.

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

Ijebu Garri?!?! Damn.... I can't wait to go to Naija and download that stuff into my system.. lol@the aristos stuff.. babe you won't believe that i just understood the meaning of that for the first time in my life right now on your blog... i mean i never knew... my naijaness is sooo off right now... lol... Dang @ this professor... I guess he wants to give her 'pass mark'.. lol... me i don't mind the lecturers that try to be friendly(although they've never been extremely so) cos they give you extensions on deadlines... although one african ta that i had once wouldn't let me be... i always had to come to class prepared cos he always wanted to know my opinon about everything.. and when i gave an answer.. he'd be like "yes my african sister".. lol.. and funny enough i never even told him i was African and was actually vain enough to think i 'didn't have an accent'.. lmao... have a great week babe!

SapphireAster said...

That prof no gbadun at all o...why didnt SexyLady collect the thing and wipe herself..letting the man tap current unnecessarily!Shewww!
I had sth similar happen to me last year but it didnt get that far o...but it was headed that way..tight hugs that squuezed the life outta me and the kiss on th cheek..m like Oga...but we arent French o! This is America!

Glad you had a good time in NY. As for Chiefo and Omodudu that stood you up...I reserve my comments!

Girl it looks like your cover is fully blown o..u might as well put up a family album now...

The Life of a Stranger called me said...

sounds like this our bijoux had way too much fun - too much - upon all the suya you had u couldnt keep it quiet u had to come here and tell us - what you are doing is not fair at all -

I didnt know sugar dadies exist out here in the universities because they could be sued - and loose their jobs -

take care and have a blessed week.

NaijaBloke said...

Xoxo ... I dan dey tell u ..u and dis ur ignorance .. and dis ur SL friend ..all I can say is hmmm....
Dont be surprise if u hear that SL is shaggin with ur Professor o .. dis one wey oga dey dab her headlamps and she no talk anything ..

So u still finally miss the Owanbe .. if I hear u complain again for here na Vera I go send to u ..LOL

U have a nice day

Vera Ezimora said...

Bijoux, I tagged you. Where is ur response? Don't waste my time o!

snazzy said...

Waitin dey do you? You no go owanbe party so una chop suya and garri. It be like say u no won gist us well well. Talking about accountant wey no finish school and dey begin count money for him hand, and yeye aristo who dey use toilet paper tap current. Stop it o! I for watch next post, make u no do am again o!

Daddy's Girl said...

Na wa for that professor o... he sould keep those greedy hands and hugs to himself. Nasty.

Cherub (former Bijouxoxo) said...

@babe: for real o.

@chiefO: I'm gonna call u tonite. U stood me up jere, so don't come here and be talking o.

@Overwhelmed: Have u been living under a rock? Anyway, u 've learned sum'n new today.

@SAFAYAH: Some profs sha? Kiss on the cheek ke? Maibe he has some French origin.

@LOASCM: Hmm i'll blog on that in a min.

@NB: I was too tired jere, so i crashed at home with a hot bowl of eba and efo. I'm still waiting to the owanbe u'd invite me to (lol)

@VERA: Dis gal don come again o. Ok i'll do it.

@Snazzy: Abi o, the boi still dey for school, him dey count prospective wealth.

@daddy's girl: Like seriously, the same way i felt when i was told the story.

ahhhhhhl said...

That is crazy. Aristos are everywhere oh. Better tell your friend to soji and put the man in his place! Na wah for all this shameless old men with wives at home.