Friday, October 06, 2006

Where do i start from?

How're u guys doing? Everything has been going great for me of course, 'cos i'm the daughter of the most high a.k.a. the apple of his eye. Anyways, i really don't know where to start from, 'cos a lot of random things have been happening to me. Sit back and relax, 'cos i'll start from the beginning and tell it as it is. My random musing may sound incoherent, but just take this ride along with me and u'd be glad u did.

I wrote about the guy i like(d) some posts ago, OF. Anyways, i've decided not to like him again (LOL), so his number has been deleted from my phone and i decided not to call or e-mail him again. He never calls back when he says he would, claiming he's busy with school and work, like i'm the jobless one, right? Whenever he decides to call (always at midnight or 1/2 a.m), he keeps on going on and on about himself, without the decency to ask how i'm doing or how my day went. This used to, and still pisses me off. Everytime we talked, that was always the routine of him yanning dust (talking) on and on. Anyways, so on this fateful day, he called again and i was determined to have the upper hand, to give him a taste of his own medicine and not let him say too much. That's how i started talking about myself, how my day went, and all sorts. Before he could say a word, i'd have said 10. It got to a stage, he then said in Yoruba, "se enu o ki n ro e ni?" (Does ur mouth not hurt u? implying that i talk too much). I was livid. Whether he was aware of it or not, i don't know but i ended the conversation there and then. I've called him several times after that, but never made mention of the incident.

I spoke with my very good friend, Ade over the weekend. Told him the entire story about OF, and what i've decided to do. I just needed some sort of justification for my actions. Ade isn't telling me what i should or shouldn't do, but it's good when u seek people's opinion, which was what i did. I'm glad i talked to him about it, and he made me see things from another perspective. He asked whether OF had a girlfriend, and i replied in the negative 'cos from our convos, no talk of girlfriend ever came up, even though i'm 80% sure that he doesn't have one. Ade was now like i really can't assume that he doesn't have one, 'cos he has never made mention of one. Ade then suggested that i fashie (forget about) him 'cos i've tried. Ade knows that i'm kinda shy and for me to have called OF first, he gave me mad props. So bye-bye OF and i wish u the best in life.

That reminds me sef. I remember when i was still in Nigeria and every Sunday, my parents would drag my siblings and i to the 7 a.m. service at All Saint's Anglican Church, Yaba Lagos. The reason i used to love going to church was 'cos of my crushes. There was this family, one of the regulars to 7 a.m service that used to attend, they had about 5 boys, tall, dark and handsome boys. All of them wore glasses. My sister and i would sit in the back row with our girlies, to check these boys out. Then Senegalese style of buba and shokoto just arrived, so these boys were always decked in starched, guinea brocade Senegalese buba and shokoto. Thinking about it now, i feel stupid sha, going to church just to scope some boys who probably didn't even notice us. Then we thought they had to be really older than us, 'cos two of them used to drive the family to church in their SUV (it's too long for me to remember the model). My girlies, and my sister never mustered up enough courage to talk to 'em sha, which used to pain us then. If any of u brother's are reading this, (cos i know we Nigerians are all connected in a weird kinda way), know that this is/was ur secret admirer and i'm sure y'all are still TDH( TALL, DARK AND HANDSOME) and children of God 'cos ur mumsy and popsy used to drag y'all to church every Sunday. I think their mumsy used to cater for events at church. Kai! I've given out too much info, i hope my annonymous cover isn't fully blown by the whole world.

I was sitting jejely at the study loung of the Student Union building at school, eating my sandwich, when this gbeborun, aproko, amebo, tatafo lady came to meet me. I think she's a monk, 'cos of the way she dresses, dunno whether she's a Buddhist or Catholic monk, but i really don't care. Anyways, when i was done eating, she then wrote a small note and gave me, that read we're not supposed to eat or drink in the study lounge. She went further, to point out the signs posted to this effect. I pretended like i didn't know and thanked her. She went back to her seat, which was next to me, and i brought out my granola bar dessert to munch on. She looked at me and shook her head, i just smiled back. You guys need to understand that everyone eats and drinks in that study lounge, so it wasn't as if i was breaking one sacred rule like that o. Besides, why was it just me she picked on. Didn't she see the others that were drinking coffee too? Nonsense, everyone ignores that sign and i really think it should be removed.

I am so fit, infact i am in excellent shape, it ain't even funny. So my gym instructor wanted us to check our progress since we started the aerobic dance class (it's been 6 weeks), we used this software thingy that checks everything, body composition, flexibility, biceps strength, cardiovascular assessment etc. In all, but the biceps strength (average), i had excellent rating. I now weigh 132 lbs. Nice. So some of you guys, Uzo, London Buki said i should try kickboxing again. I'd try it in 2 weeks when my sore muscles are okay, only 'cos i'm excited about my progress report. Till then, aerobic dance it is for me. Oh, my friend i spoke to, Ade said i should write down on paper the qualities i desire in my future spouse. I'm like it's all stored up in my brain. He insisted that sometimes the brain mixes stuff up, more like we tend to compromise and rationalize some irrational things, but if it's on paper and hopefully u weren't intoxicated when u wrote it, u'd remain focused. Remain blessed people, till i come ur way again, keep on smiling.

P.S: I gotta run to class now, i didn't proofread this entry (i'd do that over the weekend), if there are any errors, i apologize in advance.


ABBEY said...

i'm always opening the comment floor on here. anyways...i guess we all went through the "go to church for ur crush" phase lol. back then there used to be this craig david look alike guy at my church...mmm mmm mmm.

and yeah forget that guy men...i know those types, u get so bored with talking to them on the phone cus all thats important to them is that u hear how stressed they are, how busy they were at work, etc. if they're like that when they are supposedly "toasting" you then what will happen when y'all start dating. Don't worry ur man is on the way ;)

Biodun said...

I am guilty of breaking every library rules, ha ha that chick sure is a gbeborun, men am jealous o, everyone is workign out n is in perfect shape, how tall r u if I may ask, take care n have a blessed weekend!

diamond said...

yep. write down your list...and you dont discuss it with anyone but God and watch what happens. Just send me an invite when the time comes... :-)

Life through rose-tinted glasses said...

i definately went throught the "go to church for crush" stage lol but that was when i was way younger. its a good thing u sent OF on his way me thinks he was a waste of time. have a lovely weekend

NaijaBloke said...

"Kokoro Ewa and her Crushes and 7ups" written by Xoxo

Coming out on 10/10/06 ..Grab a copy and plz no photocopying O.

Beautifully Human said...

Ha ha! which girl didnt have a 'church crush' back in dem days? I was certainly one of them, and then I'd be hoping he was looking at me when I went up to the alter to give my offering (chei, make una thank God for my life, oh!)
your guy,OF, reminds me of someone I used to know; believe me, you dont need people like that around you. why waste time talking to them when u can dedicate your time to people who really appreciate your friendship?

Cherub (former Bijouxoxo) said...

@EVERYONE: Y'all have made my night, for supporting what my actions towards OF. I'm sure most of us, when thru that "go to church for ur crush who may not notice u phase." Sad innit?

Cherub (former Bijouxoxo) said...

@Biodun: Abegi u're not the only one that break library rules o. But the one i don't do, or lemme say that i try not to do, is answering my cell in the lib. I'm 5' almost 6.5 inches. I bought a Size 2 dress at NY & Co. and it fit me perfectly, i thot i was supposed to be a size 4.

@NB: Well done o. I've sealed ur yawa in a cooler/ Eleganza warmer. When last did i hear about Crush, abi no be the crush drink u dey refer to? I'm still counting down for u, i'll remind u when the time is near.

For real, y'all are the best. I'm sending a squeezy blog hug to u guys, can u feel it?

Anthony Arojojoye said...

On the contrary, I do not think I should support your action.
Whatever happened to freedom of speech & expression!
Left to me, I think the world has graduated from the school of thought that it's the guy that should make the advances and must/should (by the force of compulsion) care immediately when you strike a friendship (be in talking terms.
I suggest if you like him, you'll ask him some cogent questions like if he has a girlfriend.
No man is perfect, he might not just see it as something bad to always talk about himself without asking about you. Many men also do not have the in-built capacity to hear women talk (it's not preinstalled in their OS).
Remember, men are wired differently from women. Many men's design architecture are like AMDs. Those of women are multilayered like intel that keeps getting updated.
It would be unfair to draw conclusions that that is how he would always be/relate without thinking of giving room for him to change or learn to relate in a better manner. Even women change for the better, so his brain is not read-only, there's permission to edit information.
Finally if I were a lady & I get attracted to a guy who I feel is cool, I would do everything within my power to make him mine. We all have rights to choose what/who we want, I won't let the fact that I'm a lady constrain me if a guy isn't forthcoming.
For your information, they aren't constrained in the village anymore, talkless of civilized worlds.

Anonymous said...

there arent any female catholic monks

just thot i'd let you know.

so what do you do when the guy never talks about himself, and only wants to talk about you and then when he actually talks about himself, its about hes really broke (college student sha)
are you meant to give him money, advice or just listen?

Dipo Tepede said...

Bijou! Bijou!! Bijou!!

How many times did I call u?

I dont know if I have a right to tell u this but I will tell u anyway;

Please, change your adviser

Please, please, please
For the sake of Christ that you promote, change him! NOW!!!

You may start by reading 7 REASONS WHY FEMALES GET HURT on

Cherub (former Bijouxoxo) said...

@Anthony a.k.a Computer guru: I knew you guys would support ur own. Okay, the next convo we have (when he calls), i'd use style to include it in the discussion, to know if he has a girl or not. I don't think he even realizes that he's always talking about himself. So according to ur advise, i should go after him.

@Anon: Thanks for the correction. Are the catholic monks that are female not called nuns? Could it be he's hiding something when a guy doesn't want to talk about himself, hmmm? Maybe, maybe not. I'd suggest u just listen, about always complaining that he's broke. If u feel u're in a position to loan/ lend/ give him money, do it, but don't let it always be the norm.

@Dipo: Oga Dipo, na 3 times u call me. He's not my adviser, the thing is i already decided on what to do, and just wanted another opinion, from a guy's perspective. I've read that article on ur blog, and even commented on it, but i'd read it again.

LondonBuki said...

LOL!!! I had my secret crush at my church too and he never noticed me :-( LOL!!!

I have broken library rules as well... eating, talking at an inconsiderate level, etc. I would have just ignored her... I can be rude like that LOL!!!

As for OF, good job... you don't want to feel like you are forcing yourself on someone and that they only talk to you when they have your time...

Have a blessed week!

The Life of a Stranger called me said...

Dear Bijou I feel like its been a while I visited you site - but as always you remind us of silly things we once you used to.

Dipo Tepede said...


Everybody in this world has a selfish tendency thats why we are humans. Its not easy to feel another human; if it was easy you will feel for any man you see out there.

Remember God grants the desires of the heart. There must be a definite reason for such feelings; its your duty to find out. if not you will always never know and it may be very important.

I am not in a proper frame to write now but i would add to it ASAP.

NaijaBloke said...

Which yawah be that aunty?LOL

ChiefO said...

which rule hasnt been re-written. nigerian emabssy was located on the third floor (no talking or whispering zone) of the library. imagine o, they chased us from the first floor which was the group discussion zone and we moved to the quiet zone. talk of showing them the nigerian in us. the garbage bin in that area of the library was always full. i wonder if they still hang out there.

Anonymous said...

lol yeah, but the nomenclature is pretty imporant. its just like saying women are female men sha sha whatever.

he doesnt always complain that he's broke, just that i feel uncomfortable when he does (free me im only ten years old lol). we talk but its punctuated by long silences, kk maybe its companionable silence but w/ my other friends its like a race to see who can yarn the most lol, but then again i dont like my other friends like that. i dont want to lend him money cos im afraid ill be like all those girls that used their tuition to buy their bf's cars and houses. i dont know again jare