Thursday, October 18, 2007

Platonic friends? Hmmm ...

Hey folks, how're u doing? YAY ME!!! 2 posts in a week? I'm really getting better. Ok, i've been thinking a lot about this. So as usual, i decided to use my blog as an outlet to let off steam. DISCLAIMER: This topic is not about anyone in particular or in reference to any incident.

Let's begin, oppposite sex friendships we all know can be difficult, and it is quite challenging especially when u're in a serious/ committed r/ship i.e. when u have a boyfriend/ girlfriend. I'm going to be very open and tell it like it is on here and i know this isn't unique to just me.

Most of my friends, and i mean friend in every sense of the word (not acquaintance) are guys. I've 2 best friends. A bestfriend girl and a bestfriend boy, like i call them. Those who know me, can testify that i'm one of those easy to talk to pple. I can be a complete goofball when i want to. Anyway, to the koko of the oro (crux of the matter), i love my boyfriend a lot (yeah, yeah! who cares?), but i find it difficult striking a balance, in such a way that i won't make anyone uncomfortable.

The other day, the mister and i were together, when this random guy [let's call him Former Bad Boy (FBB). He gave himself the name not me] i met sometime ago walked up to me. Apparently FBB has/ had designs on me, which i was oblivious to, as always. We chatted on and on and since then we've become acquainted. The mister's so uncomfortable whenever i'm around FBB and i've tried to put his mind at ease so many times. Good for him to know he has competitiors out there, so he acts right, some may say. Of course, FBB knows the mister but he still says we can be platonic friends. No qualms, afterall i have many other guy friends that i talk to for hours.

Then there's this other friend i have in Canada that's just wonderful in every sense of the word. An absolute darling. If the mister wasn't in the picture, i probably would be dating him now. That's not to say i'm comparing the mister with him, not at all neither does it mean that i'm having second thots abt the mister. I talk to Mr. Canada all the time. About twice a week just to catch up on what's happening in his life and all what not, do some amebo here and there, shey u get?

Let's not even bring the Naija guys into this pix. They say out of sight is out of mind, so i think i can handle that side very well. Now the experts that know how guys and girls think say that, ladies are emotional wrecks sorry beings, they also claim that when a guy and a girl are getting too close, just platonic closeness, that if care isn't taken, one/ both parties will start developing feelings for the other. Hmmm ... Food for thought. I daresay ,that it's not always the case just from examining my friendships. What do y'all think? Are platonic opposite sex friendships still possible, even if the person liked u before? Does constant communication bring about affection? Please, be as honest as possible. Remain blessed folks.

10 comments:

DiAmOnD hawk said...

im first!

Allied said...

Diamond did Ojoro. I should be first!!!

Well, you can have a girl best friend but when it comes to a male, your boy friend should be your best friend.

Yea, guys might be easy to befriend, most of them don’t have that crazy drama that comes with girlfriends but sharing EVERYTHING with them is equivalent to dating... Ok, maybe you don’t say the “I love u” or the mushy stuff, but still you are giving urself to them.

I want you to put urself in mister's shoes. Let say there is a girl that has been eyeing Mister and everyone knows it. Mister got together with you, and the girl is still single. She comes every time to talk to mister and keep telling him, she just wants to be friends how would you feel? It is not that mister doesn’t trust you; it is FBB he doesn’t trust.

Sometimes, guy like that stick around, so they can lend a shoulder when something goes wrong in a relationship. From shoulder giving to something else.

Anything is possible in platonic friendship. We just have to be cautious of how it is founded and defined. Also, i think that constant communication does bring affection.

temmy tayo said...

I am 3rd!
Any gift for this position?

My darling aburo, I have done it. Check my space.

Jaycee said...

lolll...the funny thing is that some weeks back I talked abt this topic with the "mister" just because there was someone who thought that he could be platonic friends with moi. But errrrm...the thing I realized was this, feelings can start developing and then before u know it all gets complicated. I'm one of the people that likes to have guy friends here and there (guys are sooo kewl), but when u're in a relationship u have to tread carefully sha...

aloted said...

Hi girl..i think balance is the word...keep ur guy friends but always put yourself in check by asking "if i do this, will mister be uncomfortable? if he does this with any of his girl friends, will i be uncomfortable?".

Hope that helps??

Belle said...

just imagine if the roles were reversed, and your bf had many platonic friends? would you feel the same way? hours on the phone etc etc.. too much. anyways, i know i would be tres uncomfortable...but then again, i have this crazy jealous streak...

Men like women they can't get... i think it's the challenge... and they often come under the guise of "platonic friends"... so unless the dude is in a relationship himself, chances are these friends like you. ..so sho ara e o!

s.chic said...

I've had this conversation too many times with different people, and i honestly believe that a platonic relationship is possible. Like you, most of my friends are males, and i'm usually bubbly like that, and infact one of my closest friends has a girlfriend that only until recently has she started feeling confortable with me and understanding that in no way am i out to take her man from her.
Bottomline is that you have to put your mister in a position where he understands that you're with him for a reason,and not the other guys and as such they are no threat to your relationship, but you also intend to keep your friendship; God forbid something goes wrong with the mister, you don't want a situation where you've distanced yourself from your really good friends.

NaijaBloke said...

Afi platonic friends nah ..... first and foremost FBB abi kilo pe knows Mister and he does not talk to him ... thatz strike one and does Mister know about Uncle canada? guess thatz strike 2 ...

To me u can always have guys that are platonic friends but its up to u on how to keep them in check cos am not going to lie to u ..most of us are wolves in sheep's clothing o ...lol

Allied said...

Can you please update?

ablackjamesbond said...

I will be back here